Author Archives: bicyclemark

Growing Pains Without Mike Seaver

I used to think it was annoying when I was all fascinated by weblogging and mentioned it in conversation and a majority of peeps would give a blank stare and say “sorry, what’s a weblog?” I understand that its relatively new (you know.. only 6 years old or so!!) but it still bothered me cause it ruined my high, not to mention my conversation. BUT sure enough, I have found something FAR more annoying, bring up PODCASTING in conversation. Utter disaster. Conversations come to a screeching halt. Nerd alarms go off… it’s downright freakish apparently, to use the term. My point — I hate how long it takes for new technologies and, for that matter, words, to become widely understood. Its enough to make me want to hide in a little podcasters club where we all speak the same language.

So I’ll try and keep my concentration while one gorgeous british gal looks in at me over the monitor… must.. concentrate… blog.. not.. girl.

At this very moment in Washingtonland, the man they call president is being sworn in . I’m not sure if my buddy and local mover and shaker, D-Rock, is going… I’m pretty sure the administration has a restraining order against his ass. But I do know that Ms._Thingk is THERE. YES! She sent an email, she’s doing well in DC.. super busy.. as you can imagine happens to all young, smarty pants, hot, democratic senatorial interns. Hopefully she doesn’t end up like the ol’ Washingtonienne. Although I hear the fame and fortune are decent, not to mention the sex.

But my thoughts on the inauguration are few. I was there, along with D-Rock, in 2001, to express my dissent for a president who was not elected and I felt was absolutely not qualified (one term as gov. is a crap CV/Resume.. to me.) Sure enough we were corralled behind barriers, searched, and randomly intimidated by displays of police power. (aka.. helicopters, parades of police cars, snipers, riot gear.. ) Nothing says FREE SOCIETY and DEMOCRACY like a display of iron fisted militarism. And so today should be more of the same.. though probably fewer demonstrators… since well.. its widely accepted that he won the vote.

So I’m across the ocean watching it all, and when i’m not feeling blissfully isolated from the madness, I just think — I guess this is what the country has to do. Meaning.. relatively speaking, the US is a young country. Like a human.. countries make mistakes, especially when they are young… so in a weird kind of way, maybe this is what the country needs to go through… the BUSH phase, and all the thinking that comes with it. As for those who didn’t want this.. well you’re all being dragged along for the ride. Oh and so is Spongebob.. sorry buddy.

Tomorrow on I See Dead Historical Figures: Dick Nixon!

Today’s Sounds: Cardigans – Long Gone Before Midnight

AudioCommuniqu? #3

This one was less of a bitch then the last, plus I’m rockin an 8 euro headset mic like my name’s madonna.

Includes:

  • Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution (Wonderful Life)
  • My Robot poem
  • Bush’s Iraq Speech 2 years ago
  • Bush remix
  • Mikey Boy from Loft 405 mentions me
  • Laurent Voulzy (Am?lie)
  • BM in French
  • Will I become a squatter?

AudioCommuniqu? #3 (mp3)

64kbps, 6,412MB, 13 min +


Poem about A Robot

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

She talks like a robot,

and gets oiled every night,

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

She was programmed by white people

To look like a black person,

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

She eats nuts and bolts for dinner,

And sleeps in Bush’s closet at night

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

She’s programmed to say nothing,

And she mispronounces the word ally.

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

Her hair is made of polyeurothane,

her policies were programmed in 1985,

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

Candoleeza Rice is a Robot

—Sing it with me.

=> And now to prepare dinner for a gaggle of Dutch girls who think I have culinary prowess.

Today’s Sounds: Talib Kweli – Beautiful Struggle

Act natural

I was at the controls of the fishtank when SHE walked in. If I keep eyes on the LCD display, I can’t actually see who is walking in, but I can sense it. Especially when its someone who looks and smells as good as she would. My mystery girl, who for the past six months had been the highlight of my workday. I swear she purposely chose a seat that offered a chance to steal glances my way. And sure enough… she’d catch me looking at her and vice-versa. We enjoyed those moments, and it seemed an unspoken agreement that we’d leave it like that.

That is until.. we broke the rules. Maybe it was the landing on Titan, or the rising of ocean, but for some reason, we spoke to each other. Starting with those magical words she spoke “hi”. I tried to think of something suave… so I responded “hi.” What followed involves alot of blushing, staring at the floor, and fidgeting. Eventually a real conversation ensued… and then came the inevitable: Mystery girl was glad to finally talk to me, but she was leaving the next day for good. Where was she heading, you may ask…. THAILAND.

Yeah.. Thailand.. I was all “don’t tell me.. you’re going to help with the relief effort!” thinking mystery girl was good hearted as she was beautiful. But NAY… she gave me one of those smiles that could turn winter into summer and said “I’m going on vacation.” This brought alot of questions from me… and a larger issue, the whole “best thing to do after a disaster is to get back to normal life… go shopping” philosphy. She explained, and I understand to some extent, that she had booked it long ago, and after careful reflection, she felt it was good for Thailand that the tourists come back, so why not her… now.

What a fucked up world, I tend to think. Which functions in such a system that says, the best way to recover from tragedy and move forward, is to go out and spend money. I know economically it somehow makes sense… but it doesn’t it feel creepy and wrong ? Does to me sometimes. I wouldn’t be able to just, go lay out in the sun of Phuket while hundreds of thousands have just died in one of the worst tragedies in the history of the world. For some reason I’d have trouble spreading suntan lotion on my European-American pale skin, when just a few minutes away, families are desperate for water and food to fall from the sky.

I guess that’s where the mystery girls of the world step in. They have the courage to get past my guilt, and go look beautiful on the beaches of south asia, while putting money into the tourist dependent economy. Hooray.

PS– If you had asked me oh mystery girl… I’d have gone with you.

Today’s Sounds: Radio Clash Podcast

The emperor Wears A Thong

Today begins my newfound fame, I suppose. Seriously, podcasting has done wonders to my readership, look for yourself. And here I thought putting my voice out there would scare the crap out of y’all, and readership would plummet, along with my blogshare value. (i have an overpriced blog stock apparently)

One of the coolest side-effects of my sunday podcasts has been the email. Many of you have said such nice things you make me blush. And then there were emails from other podcasters who found me on the net, even one from Amsterdam. Obviously this thing is sweeping the internet as one of the biggest new pass-times.

The Radiohumper and I were having an email discussion about public blogging versus anonymous, which is a discussion many of you have had with me… or maybe with yourself. (especially you schizophrenics!) That burning question as I write my thoughts – “Shall I reveal my secret identity?” And your eternal wonder “Who is this person really?” I think this will be a typical blog wonder for many years to come, especially as the mainstream wakes up and recognizes that this ain’t no trend and we’re here to stay.

So should you blog as yourself? Should you blog anonymously. Besides being annoying to spell… being an anony blogger has its perks. You can say fuck alot, and your mom won’t get mad. You can talk about affairs, and your partner won’t know. You can call you boss a fuckhead, and you won’t get called into fuckhead’s office the next day. You can discuss any topic, no matter how disgusting or tasteless.. like poo… and it will never be known WHO actually wrote it. — Pretty tempting ain’t it? Plus if you get big, you get to be like Bruce Wayne and mysteriously disappear whenever the joker crashes a party, having retreated to the BATBLOG.

For my part I try to blog 95% real. All characters on my blog are real, even the dead ones I pretend to interview, as is my life… as far as I know. Even if it seems like the twilight zone for me, as a open and public blogger, you can read this and know alot of my story. My hopes, concerns, pet-peaves, fettishes, and obvious character faults are all laid out on your 32-bit true color display. Last night in an email, the Verbal Chameleon commented that I would do well with a girlfriend who blogs, as we would get-on quite well. I can’t help but think — wow.. just by reading my blog for the past months, she knows quite alot about me. And by me, I don’t mean bicyclemark… but the mark behind the name. Then again I was once told that via my blog I sound like some kind of partying gigolo. Which sounds cool! — but oh so not the truth.

And so you see, I have no good conclusion for you.

Just cause you blog anonymously doesn’t mean your true self isn’t revealed. But it probably means you won’t be hated in real life, so long as you’ve got an Alfred as your butler who can iron your uniform and dust the blogcave.

And even when you blog as yourself, you may not come across as yourself. Either that or I’m a party-boy and a whore.

Today’s Sounds: Colin Hay – Peaks and Valleys

Podcast #2

Some would say I wasted my sunday afternoon editing, splicing, and mixing…. and then I started working on my podcast. (studio audience laughs)I’m going to be going over my blog design with a fine-tooth comb tomorrow, with help from A LIST APART, so be prepared for some changes. Change is good.. so don’t worry.

I’ve noticed a number of things about my podcasting ways:

    1 – Im boring.

    2 – Some of us are bloggers and some of us are podcasters, but I intend to try to be both.

    3 – This shit could be fun.

So I’ll beam it out to all of you, via my new host Liberated Syndication. (which costs 5 bucks a month.. so if some of you could donate a buck, put it in my paypal tip jar, thanks!)

This podcast includes music by Waldemar Bastos, FrouFrou, and Coheed&Cambria.

Bicyclemark’s AudioCommuniqu? #2 (mp3)

64kbps 14min 15sec long

Soon Ill start including linar notes.