Podcasting since 2004; Conversations, conflicts, adventures and monologues from around the world.
This one was less of a bitch then the last, plus I’m rockin an 8 euro headset mic like my name’s madonna.
Includes:
64kbps, 6,412MB, 13 min +
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
She talks like a robot,
and gets oiled every night,
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
She was programmed by white people
To look like a black person,
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
She eats nuts and bolts for dinner,
And sleeps in Bush’s closet at night
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
She’s programmed to say nothing,
And she mispronounces the word ally.
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
Her hair is made of polyeurothane,
her policies were programmed in 1985,
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
Candoleeza Rice is a Robot
—Sing it with me.
=> And now to prepare dinner for a gaggle of Dutch girls who think I have culinary prowess.
Today’s Sounds: Talib Kweli – Beautiful Struggle
I was at the controls of the fishtank when SHE walked in. If I keep eyes on the LCD display, I can’t actually see who is walking in, but I can sense it. Especially when its someone who looks and smells as good as she would. My mystery girl, who for the past six months had been the highlight of my workday. I swear she purposely chose a seat that offered a chance to steal glances my way. And sure enough… she’d catch me looking at her and vice-versa. We enjoyed those moments, and it seemed an unspoken agreement that we’d leave it like that.
That is until.. we broke the rules. Maybe it was the landing on Titan, or the rising of ocean, but for some reason, we spoke to each other. Starting with those magical words she spoke “hi”. I tried to think of something suave… so I responded “hi.” What followed involves alot of blushing, staring at the floor, and fidgeting. Eventually a real conversation ensued… and then came the inevitable: Mystery girl was glad to finally talk to me, but she was leaving the next day for good. Where was she heading, you may ask…. THAILAND.
Yeah.. Thailand.. I was all “don’t tell me.. you’re going to help with the relief effort!” thinking mystery girl was good hearted as she was beautiful. But NAY… she gave me one of those smiles that could turn winter into summer and said “I’m going on vacation.” This brought alot of questions from me… and a larger issue, the whole “best thing to do after a disaster is to get back to normal life… go shopping” philosphy. She explained, and I understand to some extent, that she had booked it long ago, and after careful reflection, she felt it was good for Thailand that the tourists come back, so why not her… now.
What a fucked up world, I tend to think. Which functions in such a system that says, the best way to recover from tragedy and move forward, is to go out and spend money. I know economically it somehow makes sense… but it doesn’t it feel creepy and wrong ? Does to me sometimes. I wouldn’t be able to just, go lay out in the sun of Phuket while hundreds of thousands have just died in one of the worst tragedies in the history of the world. For some reason I’d have trouble spreading suntan lotion on my European-American pale skin, when just a few minutes away, families are desperate for water and food to fall from the sky.
I guess that’s where the mystery girls of the world step in. They have the courage to get past my guilt, and go look beautiful on the beaches of south asia, while putting money into the tourist dependent economy. Hooray.
PS– If you had asked me oh mystery girl… I’d have gone with you.
Today’s Sounds: Radio Clash Podcast
Today begins my newfound fame, I suppose. Seriously, podcasting has done wonders to my readership, look for yourself. And here I thought putting my voice out there would scare the crap out of y’all, and readership would plummet, along with my blogshare value. (i have an overpriced blog stock apparently)
One of the coolest side-effects of my sunday podcasts has been the email. Many of you have said such nice things you make me blush. And then there were emails from other podcasters who found me on the net, even one from Amsterdam. Obviously this thing is sweeping the internet as one of the biggest new pass-times.
The Radiohumper and I were having an email discussion about public blogging versus anonymous, which is a discussion many of you have had with me… or maybe with yourself. (especially you schizophrenics!) That burning question as I write my thoughts – “Shall I reveal my secret identity?” And your eternal wonder “Who is this person really?” I think this will be a typical blog wonder for many years to come, especially as the mainstream wakes up and recognizes that this ain’t no trend and we’re here to stay.
So should you blog as yourself? Should you blog anonymously. Besides being annoying to spell… being an anony blogger has its perks. You can say fuck alot, and your mom won’t get mad. You can talk about affairs, and your partner won’t know. You can call you boss a fuckhead, and you won’t get called into fuckhead’s office the next day. You can discuss any topic, no matter how disgusting or tasteless.. like poo… and it will never be known WHO actually wrote it. — Pretty tempting ain’t it? Plus if you get big, you get to be like Bruce Wayne and mysteriously disappear whenever the joker crashes a party, having retreated to the BATBLOG.
For my part I try to blog 95% real. All characters on my blog are real, even the dead ones I pretend to interview, as is my life… as far as I know. Even if it seems like the twilight zone for me, as a open and public blogger, you can read this and know alot of my story. My hopes, concerns, pet-peaves, fettishes, and obvious character faults are all laid out on your 32-bit true color display. Last night in an email, the Verbal Chameleon commented that I would do well with a girlfriend who blogs, as we would get-on quite well. I can’t help but think — wow.. just by reading my blog for the past months, she knows quite alot about me. And by me, I don’t mean bicyclemark… but the mark behind the name. Then again I was once told that via my blog I sound like some kind of partying gigolo. Which sounds cool! — but oh so not the truth.
And so you see, I have no good conclusion for you.
Just cause you blog anonymously doesn’t mean your true self isn’t revealed. But it probably means you won’t be hated in real life, so long as you’ve got an Alfred as your butler who can iron your uniform and dust the blogcave.
And even when you blog as yourself, you may not come across as yourself. Either that or I’m a party-boy and a whore.
Today’s Sounds: Colin Hay – Peaks and Valleys
Some would say I wasted my sunday afternoon editing, splicing, and mixing…. and then I started working on my podcast. (studio audience laughs)I’m going to be going over my blog design with a fine-tooth comb tomorrow, with help from A LIST APART, so be prepared for some changes. Change is good.. so don’t worry.
I’ve noticed a number of things about my podcasting ways:
So I’ll beam it out to all of you, via my new host Liberated Syndication. (which costs 5 bucks a month.. so if some of you could donate a buck, put it in my paypal tip jar, thanks!)
This podcast includes music by Waldemar Bastos, FrouFrou, and Coheed&Cambria.
Bicyclemark’s 
AudioCommuniqu? #2 (mp3)
64kbps 14min 15sec long
Soon Ill start including linar notes.
Yesterday’s cliffhanger about dinner with Texan students actually concluded swimmingly. I found that they handled indonesian food with healthy curiosity, i guess they appreciate good eatin’. There were in fact no political debates, and I’ll admit I was seeking to avoid them if they weren’t necessary. At some point I mentioned Condi Rice, but when I did it I put my napkin in front of my mouth and I was leaning close to the one guy who was actually from NY state. We were discussing her academic career for whatever reason, I thought it was ironic that in a group of non-northeasterners with one exception, I spend most of the evening talking to the exception. He was in fact an immigrant, so we understood each other right away. (thats how it works with me) I even recommended that he take his upcoming date to my favorite eclectic restaurant that serves up a mean veggie couscous.
How did the evening’s conversation carry on, you might wonder. Well, in fact I do have something in common with texans. I guess most of the world has this now: an encyclopedic knowledge of Seinfeld and the need to quote it verbatim. Annoying? Not to me. Though if I heard a recording of the evening I’d probably kick my own ass.
My most lovely and dynamic dinner company asked me one of those “make you think later” questions tonight. We were polishing off a big plate of Ethiopian… fingers sticky from all the alecha scooped with scraps of injera, when she asked “what do you think you’ll be doing.. five years from now.” Classic no? But I hadn’t thought about it in a while. My answer?: Finished with my PHD and looking for a teaching gig somewhere interesting. Of course always keeping my home base as the ‘dam.
What I forgot to mention? Raising chitlens, riding in my own faux tour de france, and starting my world-wide bicyclemark speaking tour. Which in fact has already begun, details demain. Hooray for podcasting sunday.
Today’s Sounds: RFI – La Radio du Monde