Audio – Page 135 – Citizen Reporter

Our Portuguese Loser

I was speaking with a slightly Drunken Dutchman and a Spaniard last night, enjoying the conversation about the tiny Russian exclave Kaliningrad, when Crazy Dr. M jumps in and dramatically warns, “Watch out! This whole conversation will end up in his blog!”

Touch? Dr. M, and yes.. it was me outside your window on Thursday night, standing on the edge of Big Jim’s boat trying to tip over your badly painted houseboat.

So it has now been a few months that our former Portuguese Prime minister got promoted and moved to Brussels as the new President of the European Commission. At that time, anyone could have told you that Dur?o Barroso had always been a Portuguese foot stool. Our lamest politician, with little personality, and not much left of a spine. But alas, Brussels wanted him, presumably since nobody had ever heard of this multilingual brown noser. They loved it when he arrived and spoke French with the Frenchies and then English with the Englishers, and you can bet he gives good Spanish. Hell I could do that job, except that I don’t like the taste of boots on my tongue.

But our hero continues to be a disaster, wherever he goes. His latest comes with his cabinet selections, for minister of justice and security, the imfamous Italian asshole Rocco Buttiglione… aka Butt.. aka Ass. The Ass recently declared that to him, homosexuality was a sin and that families existed for women to have children and be protected by a man.

Isn’t that just inspiring? This man will oversee justice in the EU. Nevermind Dur?o’s choice for competition minister, the Dutch Neelie Kroes, who has already lied about her dealings-on-the-side with Lockheed Martin.

But don’t give up on the EU yet, because what these chumps don’t realize, is that you have to get by some of the frumpiest and critical socialist and liberal representatives around, the EU Parliament. And amongst these folks, anti-gay and anti-woman rhetoric is never acceptable. All i can say is hooray for our entrenched Euro Greens/socialists/liberals, who may be lazy and pampered, but at least reflect a smidgen of our cultural values. (yes, I said our, cause remember, Im a citizen and a resident)

I’ve been following the pride of Toronto, the Accordian Guy engagement, via his multiple blogs. Good news, he discovered what the bulge is under Bush’s jacket.

And finally, good news – A Line in the Sand and Chris Missick are back. He’s moved camps, and he’s back to blogging.

Today’s Sounds: Caetano Veloso – A Foreign Sound (have you heard it? the mans a genius)

This Guy

Everyone else had already boarded the rather large and spacious boat, the engine was running, and the beer/wine was securely stowed. The Torontonienne was attempting to keep what was left of her balance after one of those unbeatable Amy-dinners. As she stepped from the random boat that we were double parked with I whisper, “I’m so blogging about this!” To which she smiles and replies, “Your such a nerd.”

And so it is, and so it was, courtesy of Big Jim, a man who knows about water, and a veteran Jersey exile who once again – makes me proud of the people coming out of my homestate. He took us around on the fantastic vessel which had actually been salvaged, a once sunken treasure now decorated with church candles, random expats, and the beer I spilled around 2am.

This is not one of those “here’s what I did last night” posts. This is about a new goal or a renewed goal in my life which Big Jim accomplished in the mid nineties. The man rode a Yamaha motorcycle (he says he’s not actually into motorcycles) from the UK to Saudi Arabia and then thru Asia down to Indonesia. I’m sure some other dinner guests saw me drooling for more of his stories. I kept stopping him in certain countries, shouting things like “Did you make it down to the Atlas mountains?”, “What was Sarajevo like, all destroyed?”, “Did they give you shit at the Israeli border with Jordan?”, “Did you see mount Ararat?”, oh and the all-important “Had the entire Nepalese Royal Family been gunned down yet?” He seemed to welcome the interruptions, and told stories of bribing middle eastern border patrols with German porno mags given to him by random truckers. Or the futuristicness of Dubai and the UAE.

The journey took him 3 years. 3 YEARS! I kept thinking… could I? Will I? I can definitely say this, when I do, I’m going to my new friend Big Jim to plan my route. But I suspect it won’t be as long. I think the first thing I’m going to get working on is re-doing the Guevara/Granada trek from Argentina down and around the South American cone. And no, I doubt I’ll go by motorcycle.

Like the Fenway Park, the Communiqu? has been setting attendance records this week. I hope that means new readers, be they old or new friends, or simply folks I haven’t met yet, I like having discussions, welcome to the blog!

AND – This is an announcement: After lengthy discussion, and still standing by most of the points I have made, I have decided to put the blogs electoral support behind JFK.

Because I intend to be his biggest critic once his worse-than-Clinton ass gets into office.

Because I listen and respect the experienced opinions of good friends like Drock and blogger friends like Professor B and all the other people.

Because I reserve the right to change my mind and be a hypocrite where and whenever I please.

Because I still love Nader, Peltier and Cobb, and I’ll defend them at any dinner party.

Because yeah, I want to see Bushie shrivel up and be forgotten like his loser father.

Because I keep thinking of that Simpsons episode where the two Aliens take over the bodies of Clinton and Dole, and they make campaign promises like: “Abortions for everyone!” (boooooo) “Abortions for no one!” (boooooo) “Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!” (yaaaaay, commence flag waving)

So that’s it, I’m laying down my guns until this election is over, which according to past experiences should be sometime in December right?

And And- Happy 111 years of age, to the man who inspires me to blog.

*NOTE – This ol’park might return next week. I’m too beat and busy today.*

Today’s Sounds: Joe Strummer – Streetcore (damn I miss him)

Get me to Buenos Aires

As much as I can complain about being a part-time human at the U of A, I sometimes forget that there are perks to workin my gig. No not a whopping salary, my corner desk or the free hot chocolate til I burst, or the lovely exchange students that come and go. One of the best perks are the fieldtrips. I can’t remember another job that had official field trips, except maybe at the Voice where my fieldtrips consisted of knocking on mobsters’ doors, asking questions about their bankruptcies, and then hoping they won’t shoot me as I walk back to my Plymouth. No, the international school takes us out! Wines and dines us, puts us in odd situations. And yesterday was a classic:

meet in a loft in the heart of Amsterdam, dress like fools (my usual), and start painting while champaign and wine make the rounds. And by Vishnu.. did we PAINT.

Of course there will still be downsizing. Or office gossip. Or the occasional falling out. But at least yesterday, for the whole day, it felt good to be an employee. Even if I don’t make enough to afford Richard Bona tickets when he plays Paradiso.

All signs tell me I need to go to Buenos Aires! Yes. It has been announced that Nestor and his government were voted “least corrupt” in 20 years. Of course they only asked business execs, who themselves are probably the most corrupt in 40 years. Still, a poll’s a poll. They even called Menem the most corrupt of all time, which is nice for a guy who’s exiled in Chil?. Yet this isn’t why I need to go, I need to go to check out the Mat? exhibition at the Museo Nacional de Arte Decorativo. I wonder if they give tips, I’ve started using mint AND ginger in my mat?. Ernesto Guevara would be proud, this being the month of the anniversary of his death. A fine time to go see the Motorcycle Diaries, if it ever gets here. I’ve watched the previews over and over, and I’m excited. I’ve read the diary, I’ve read Patrick Symme’s version when he followed the path in 1999, I’m ready for the film, and then I’ll take the journey myself!

In other news, the PM of Lebanon resigned, and YES the Torontonienne got a photoblog. Plug for myself- I sometimes appear in the photos! She stole my soul with her photographic device.

Today’s Sounds: Talib Kweli – Quality (Brooklyn’s own)

Partisan Hackery

I’ve been meaning to talk about the CIA documents on China which have been released, what the Dalai Lama said, and the evolving situation in Sudan. But I keep getting stuck on American elections stories. Perhaps it’s the Financial Times that included a one page collection of articles about all the flaws and irregularities of the voting system in the US. Or perhaps it’s the Dutch public television news program NOVA, that in the last weeks broadcasting from NYC, have had two of my favorites, Sy Hersh and Lewis Black, talking about the election. That Dutch host does a nice job, by the way. I still get impressed with the way he hosts the show in Dutch but conducts long interviews in English, and as far as I remember, it’s not even subtitled. I mean, I could do the same, but I like how he does it.

So today I take you to Colorado. I state I’ve never been to, and I really don’t know what I think of it. The only moment where I ever thought cool + Colorado was when Hunter S. ran for mayor of Aspen and barricaded himself, armed to the teeth in his cabin, on election night. OK maybe he wasn’t barricaded, but everyone seemed to be packin heat and expecting to be assaulted by crazy conservatives or the national guard.

I digress, Colorado. There’s a proposition on the table that I quite like. Prop. 36 Which reads like this:

?Apportions Colorado’s electoral votes based on the percentage of votes for each presidential candidate.

?Adds procedures and timelines to the state constitution for certifying election results and recounts, including the November 2004 presidential election.

I like this because it stops the winner-take-all stupidity. If half your state wants Ralph Nader, then 50% of your electoral votes go to him, instead of the usual everyone to one candidate, nevermind the huge percentage he didn’t vote for his ass. (cause its always a HE unfortunately)

During my house warming visit with Blonde But Bright yesterday, I noticed an article she had purposely left out for me in Time magazine. Those sons o’bitches at that centrist rag have been reading my blog! Instead of giving me credit for it, they went ahead and published a story which asks “Shouldn’t the whole world be able to vote in US elections.” Sound familiar? I mean, I believe in sharing, but you should give a brother some credit. I can’t for the life of me find the link, since their archive sucks so bad. Update later.

Today’s Sounds: Bob Dylan – Blood on the Tracks (thanks BBC Worldservice)

Blogstars

As I mentioned last week, sometimes bloggers go silent or missing. Often times they are amongst my favorites. This morning I found myself reading about the disastrous situation in Iraq and scrolling through my bloglines, I wondered how Chris Missick is doing. Since announcing he’d be moving to a new camp, A Line in the Sand has been silent for some weeks now, nothing but those comments from people who are constantly talking about “praying for him.” What an odd link, I often think, between being a soldier and praying alot. Would some supreme being really support the idea of its creations destroying each other? Doubtful. But that’s not my point, the point is, I miss his writing and I do worry about him.

Then there are the other reasons people also disappear – health. Sure enough, I mention his great post yesterday, and now TPB, Esq. is going on the DL (disabled list) to have some exploratory surgery on his back. He doesn’t trust doctors. I wouldn’t trust anyone who says they’re going to use a knife to explore parts of my body. TPB was one of the first blogs I ever really got into. I remember the post that converted me, he went to some blog convention and wrote about it with a gonzo-journalist style that reminded me of Hunter S. – Ho-Hum. Anyway, there goes another blogger than I’m worried about and will be missed until he makes a triumphant return.

It must seem odd, for some, to hear (or believe) that while I ride my bike through rainy Amsterdam streets, I actually think of or worry about other bloggers – who I’ve never met in person. But I guess it’s not for everyone to understand, unless you’ve lived it – like so many of us in the sphere.

Putting the finishing touches on my course outline for a Weblogging related course I’m pitching to the U of Amsterdam, and I added Salam Pax’s book/blog to the reading list. I had almost forgotten he had made his blog posts into a book entitled: “Salam Pax: The Clandestine Diary of an Ordinary Iraqi.” The amazon review calls him the Anne Frank of this century. At first my reaction is — slow down there buddy. But then again, maybe it is something like that. Still, Where is Raed? is one of those blogs which I wish didn’t have to die. I’m almost bitter at Salam, because he did his thing, got famous and then went on to do other things with his life. (bigger and better perhaps) The Torontonienne says maybe that’s how it works, at some point you don’t blog anymore, you start doing other things related to your experience; teaching, writing, crusading. Perhaps she is right, only time will tell.

Today’s Sounds: Jon Stewart on Crossfire (Its fun to replay)

Brain is Fogged Up

You ever wake up and feel unfunny? No? Well that’s what happened to me this morning. I have this cloud over me, an unfunny cloud. The only human who had to actually deal with that today was allstar- guestblogger the Torontonienne, who’s post I enjoyed and admittedly read over and over. Something about having a guest on my blog, it’s exciting, like having a guest at my place, only minus the Mat?. Or maybe I have some kind of fetish for Canadian theme towns? Whatever it is, I can promise you it’s not the last you see of that lovely Urban Planologist on this here blog.

Cute nephew alert! Credit my brother, Mr Foggy Recollection, for this photo, and credit both he and his wife for making one beautiful great pumpkin. After seeing this photo, I take comfort in the fact that I have purchased a round trip ticket to Jersey, with a 2 day stop in Lisbon of course! As if family and friends weren’t enough, there are great posts like Jamie’s latest on cranberries, or TPB at the meadowlands tattoo Convention, both of those make me miss my wacky garden state.

I swung by the Crazy Dr. M boat last night to polish off a bottle while discussing the finer points of computers, musicals, relationships (gasp), and blogging. Actually I become obsessed with the stack of voting guidebooks he had from his homestate of California, county, and city (San Diego, why not give it all away). I was shocked and impressed by the amount of information they load you up with as an absentee voter. Nevermind listing the candidates in nice neat lists, they have an mammoth list of propositions and then one whopper of a referendum on requiring small and medium businesses to provide health insurance to employees. BUT WAIT, don’t fall asleep yet – there’s more. They also list the pros and cons, drafted by legal experts, and then below- a list of who supports the yes or no vote. For example, on proposition 69 which seeks to limit the amount of clowns allowed in a clown car, Homey the Clown, president of the Ex-Con Clown Association of America, would be listed being against. While John M. Safety, president of the save drivers club, would be listed as for. Ok I confess, that example is real, California is a weird state. Point is, I thought it was an interesting way to approach the vote. I think other states might be quite different.

Crazy Dr. M showed me his sealed ballot, and he confessed to not having voted for Leonard Peltier and the Peace and Freedom party. I disagree with his decision, Peltier is one of my most favorite political prisoners of all time, and gets my vote for pres this year. He was nominated from prison, and I should also point out – has been recognized as a Political Prisoner by the UNHCR, Amnesty, Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama, and the European Parliament, to name a few. If anyone knows about what is a political prisoner, and then being president, surely Mandela does. Oh man, now I’m remembering that Chapelle Show skit- Mandela Bootcamp.

Today’s Sounds: Magnetic Fields (It’s all her fault!)