Audio – Page 137 – Citizen Reporter

This ol park 1

Welcome blogfriends, to the first edition of my new friday segment, THIS OL PARK, where bicyclemark reviews an Amsterdam park for a good hour or so, depending on my workload.

Judging by the duck poop under my sauconys, today’s visit must have been to the recently renovated WESTERPARK. With the accompaniment of Kirsten Dunst’s twin sister, we rode figure eights all over that piece, and we visited the Westergasfabriek(awesome website), which was the gas plant of Amsterdam back in the day, now its a hip-cool caf? and live venue. The part we both liked best were the plentiful broken windows of so many buildings. After that we moved on to admire a zen garden, which looked completely out of place yet lovely. Then there was a bit of admiring of graffiti, children’s swings, flora and fauna, and protest posters.

We were unable to come to a conclusion about how female pine trees and male pine trees “get-it-on” to produce cones. I mean, what if they’re planted far from each other? Is there a pine tree singles bar to encourage a bit of pollenation?

The last segment of our wandering consisted of stopping at Big Ali’s Sportclub, a graffitied up shack blasting music from a small stereo, and with four potted, non-blooming new guinea impatients on a table. (what?… I worked in gardening.) Big A apparently has lots of sports equipment in his shack, and provides the good people of Westerpark with the goods they need to hit the green ball with the cat-gut woven racket. Looked like good fun.

Overall we made the following conclusions:

– Westerpark, with its modern design side featuring large open fields and zen gardens, mixed with the old-style European parkishness, is a microcosm of the struggle in Amsterdam and other cities worldwide. This struggle is between the old- do it yourself style, where people squat apartments and run sports clubs out of shacks, and the new if-you-got-money-you’re-welcome style, where fancy designed caf?s cater to the wealthy and recreations of the hanging gardens of Babylon 3000 are commonplace. This doesn’t, however, answer the question of which of these will win. So far, at westerpark, they seem to live side-by-side together. That is, until a duck goes over and poops on the futuristic kiddypark.

(note: more park photos on the buzznet photoblog)

Furthermore,

G.Love is the greatest, but he’s definitely too into his groupies.

– Yes, you need to develop nerves of steel to ride through the center of Amsterdam, then you will achieve cycling nirvana.

– And my own personal conclusion, Kirsten Dunst twin’s digi-cam is in fact the first primitive digital that cavepeople first developed.

I lost bigtime on my Nobel Prize prediction. Who knew that would actually pick an African Woman and an environmental activist as well. Guess the Nobel Committee sometimes does pick’em right. My favorite headline related to this was in the Guardian which says “Tree Planter Wins Peace Prize.” How flattering. I can imagine if I win it, the headline will read: “Slacker-Leftist Wins Award.”

On that note, let’s go do some town-hall debating- my place, 3am.

Today’s Sounds: Stephan Eicher – Taxi Europe (this Italian-Swiss song is addicting)

Satellite Time

Whatever I intended to write about today has been completely preempted by one small click to XM Radio, where I found the first broadcast of Opie & Anthony. I was inspired to go check this after the countless blog reports about Stern going to XM. Though I’m not at all a Stern fan, I was a big O&A fan, and I have to admit, it’s fucking exciting to have these guys back on the air after two years of being black listed for holding a contest that encouraged sex in public, in places like.. say.. St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I can remember hearing that broadcast while I was working in Lisbon in 2002, I think I purposely chose a job where I started late so that I could stay up til 3am listening to NYC radio and programs like Ron & Fez. Fortunately R & F are still going strong in DC, and I still stay up all night listening.

Underneath it all, I’m just a big radio nerd, which actually goes back to the days when my family had a Portuguese-Community Radio show in Newark, NJ, called Voz de Portugal. It was broadcasted on WNYWK, on Sunday nights. Which I’m not sure still exists. I remember being 9 years old, and on Sundays my mom calling me into the basement recording studio my dad had built out of plywood and wall-to-wall carpeting. My brother and I shared the task of hosting the children’s show: “Jardim Infantil.” At the time I found it annoying, I wanted to play with my legos and watch sunday episodes of Abbott & Costello, not read Portuguese text and introduce songs about balloons, frogs or clowns. But looking back, that was the start of the strong bond between radio and I. (thanks internet!)Plus the coolest part was driving to Manhattan in the evening with my dad, to bring the reels to the station which seemed to be located at the tippy top of one of the tallest buildings in the city. We use to make bets as to which of the 6 elevators would arrive first, which involved a very scientific process of pressing your ear against the elevator doors.

Normally I hate linking to A-list bloggers who would never acknowledge my existence, but Dan Gillmor pointed out very simply, how weird Cheney’s lies were, the other night. The lying part is no surprise, it’s WHAT he lies about that is weird. And it’s just the icing on the cake to learn that he actual voted AGAINST a resolution to support the freeing of Nelson Mandela in 1986. True story! He claims that the ANC was viewed as a terrorist organization, which tells me this man is completely unqualified to identify who is or isn’t a terrorist.

Today’s Sounds: O & A on XM Radio

State He’s In

The basic elements of a good breakfast in my world: Special K, Organic Soymilk, and banana. This morning I added one extremely unhealthy ingredient: the Vice Presidential debates. It sounds more like a “who loves to bomb and kill people more” competition. I can barely tell who the “liberal” is. To his credit Edwards sounds human, versus MechaGodzilla.

Last night I chatted with the Brian, the man behind The State I’m In, and man was it entertaining. Highlights are posted on his bloggy. Turns out he’s a huge MST3K fan and he’s good with his mutants. We both agree that the best name for the future baseball team should be: The DC Comics.(credit Ron and Fez callers for that one)

Before I make my official Peace Prize selection-prediction, I wanted to announce a new blog exercise: This ol’Park. A little background: Being as though I’m the part-time work king, I have Friday off. I use my free time to explore Amsterdam, and the internet (more often). Therefore every Friday until it gets too dam cold, I shall visit and review a different Amsterdam park, complete with photo. It shall begin Friday and I encourage questions in the comment section. oh and one more announcement, I shall be featuring a guestblog or an interview (depending on which she grants me) with THE Torontonienne as she’s back from the beer gardens tomorrow.

Now to thin the herd, the bicyclemark Peace Prize finalists are:

3. President Obesanjo of Nigeria, for appearing in most peace negotiation photos of any world leader last year.

2. President-Select Karzai of Afghanistan, for visiting many shithole towns and evading death, so far.

1. Bono, no the singer. Although Sonny might posthumously deserve something.

I hope they don’t go and just give it to an organization, that’s such a cop-out. Good luck to all finalists this Friday, and good luck trying to claim a prize from me, punks.

Someone made a video version of Tony Pierce’s How-to-Vote blogpost, dam the blogosphere is fun. And for all the historians out there, recording history as it happens: I’m looking like a strong write-in candidate in New Jersey. If I win, it will be a very Lenin-like return to the states for me, out of exile. Somebody find his old armored train and convert it to a plane for me.

Today’s Sound: Waking up to the Veep Debate on CSPAN.org

The Minds

As I was finishing up my work yesterday afternoon, a get a last minute invite to join two of the most prolific minds in Amsterdam, who I originally met in the classroom two years ago, to go to the Filmmuseum. (located in lovely Vondelpark of course) They had a very specific movie they wished to watch, “The Five Obstructions” by Lars von Trier. Now when I lived in the states I had never heard of the man, but everywhere in Europe he’s known. Personally my impression is that he’s an enormously anti-social Dane who makes films as the weirdest ways he can possibly think of. One day I think he’ll just film a crumpled tin can as it sits on the side of the street. But don’t get me wrong, he’s fantastic. I go to his movies in hopes of learning something… or solving a puzzle, and 5 Obstructions was a really fun situation.

The movie is a documentary-drama about a sort of once famous, now washed up, Dannish director: Jorgen Leth. Leth directed “The Perfect Human” back in the 60’s, and in this film von Trier wants him to re-create it while dealing with special “obstructions.” What follows is hilarious, uncomfortable, eye-opening, and confusing. From the streets of Bombay where people are dumbfounded at what he’s doing, to the fanciness of Brussels where everything seems perfect, the movie will leave anyone with a smile. Especially when it comes time for Leth to read the open letter written by von Trier to himself which starts: “Dear stupid Lars…” Of course, the highlight for me is when Lars tells Jorgen that he must do a cartoon, because they both hate cartoons – the cartoon they create is amazing.

Dear Denmark,

Thanks for all the weird-but-cool movies, and all the good looking people, but there’s something more important I need to tell you. The North Pole belongs to the world. Tell Science Minister Helge Sander to get his head out of his ass please.

Love, Bicyclemark

PS. We love the Legos.

Lilia gave me a shout on her blog for the review & comments I did for her paper on Weblogs for personal knowledge management. She had appealed on her blog for help from native-talky talkers, which of course I am. I must say it was really fun to help someone I only know via a blog which I’ve been reading for a few months now. For a long time, I’d been hoping/wondering if the academic blogging community would ever notice me, like that short, unpopular kid on the playground. As it turns out, they’re quite welcoming. Maybe I’ll be sitting at the cool-table at lunch from now on. The more important lesson is that if you have a blog and you need help with something, like getting an IPod for example, you’ve got a whole community of readers out there, who might be happy at the chance to help out. I know I always am.

Today’s Music: Fernando Lameirinhas – O Destino (He’s Portuguese and he lives in Amsterdam!)

Our Manor Farm

I was engrossed in BitchPhD’s extended post on parenting this morning. While I have no children (that I know of) I am very interested in the topics of childcare, parenting, and well you know – society. Growing up I can remember American friends… other children.. being frequently required to take all kinds of omoxocylines and some tetra-chloro-phoro watchamacallits. It seemed like the second anyone sneezed there was a parent dragging them off to the doctor. I know that is sometimes necessary, and only shows how caring the parents in my town were, but I really feel there’s a dark side to all that. The over-protective, excessively careful parenting styles, I think, have a long term effect on society’s children, not only when it comes to them growing up to love their claratins and their prozacs, but also in terms of life decisions, those that might require risks! Those risks could be professional, emotional, or anything!

But let me shift down to second gear for a second, and tell a secondary story my dear m?e tells about my childhood:

I was and still am a notorious car sleeper. I can stay up all night on normal dry land. But put me in a car, turn on the engine, and my body falls into slumber mode. Such was true even as a toddler. And so like any loving mother who wishes to see her child sleep happy and also get some of her long-list of tasks done, on occasion she might leave me sleeping in the car, parked in the driveway in plain sight of the front door. Well, on one such occasion, I must of been dreaming of my future career as a Taekwondo Instructor (technically I still am certified as one) and I hook-kicked the auto-transmission into reverse I guess, and slowly cruised to the end of the driveway, with the car’s tail sticking-out into the street. Not a busy neighborhood mind you, a picturesque tree lined one, those who would see the car would easily drive around it. My mom was naturally horrified at the time, but now adays we can sit back and joke about my first driving experience. (In your face 8 year olds that brag about holding the wheel!)

Thing is, increasingly in the United States, and perhaps Canada (im not sure) this type of thing is not only culturally frowned upon, it’s probably a jailable offence. If the wrong neighbor sees, I might have to kiss my family goodbye! Now I’m not singing the praises of libertarianism, or the good’ol days, nor am I denouncing important Child Care services, at least I don’t intend to. I’m just worrying out loud. I think we need to control our fears, stop trying to control every single detail of life, and moreover, our harsh judgments of one another – especially as parents. Guess that last sentence looks lame, I have no offspring to speak of.

Totally different note, watched Animal Farm last night. YES, the odd 1999 TV version with Patrick Stewart as a pig and Kaiser Soze’s associate, Kobayashi, as farmer Jones. I love this version.. there, I admitted it. I kept waiting for the Jean-Luc Piccard pig to suddenly say “Captains log.. startdate bingy-bongy.. we’ve taken the farm to warp speed, and I played in my own filth today.” After the first 10 minutes you get over the fact that animals mouths are moving like humans, and you get back to the essence of it. I know Orwell Wrote it as an example/critique of the Russian Revolution, but I can’t help but see some familiar themes in society today: laws changing in the middle of the night, people being pacified through entertainment (TV in Animal Farm), and blindly following the leader who says he is the only one who can keep them safe from terrorists. Orwell was a genius who still helps us understand the present-day world and its mistakes. I just wish the animals would hurry up and take over, before things get any worse. Oh, and why aren’t there any cats on animal farm?

Today’s Sounds: G. Love – Electric Mile

Night Owls

Often when you least expect it, one of those crazy Amsterdam nights sneaks up on you. They take many different forms and shapes, they can be brief, or go on until the break-a-break-a dawn. It can be a group of friends, or a crowd of strangers, or just you… there is no real formula, just as there is no real warning. They just sneak up on you, only to be realized when you fully wake the next day.

I thought last night would be a quiet evening at home, but instead the world reknown Anne somehow got me involved in a French flick with Pedro Abrunhosa, Absenthe, and remembering California. It turns out Absenthe was only legalized recently, so now we can all see purple dinosaurs on Saturday nights. Anne says there are no purple dinosaurs unless I go to intertoys, which I will.

So the peace prize will be awarded on Friday, and way back in 2002 I predicted Carter would get it. In 2003 I was under the influence of thesis, so I made no prediction. But this year I want to re-assert my authority in the blogosphere, on the net, and around the world as a Nobel-predicting-type-guy. My top five candidates are as follows along with my rationale:

Hamid Karzai – I know he’s a bastard and a puppet deep down, but I still think they’ll give him credit for not getting assassinated and dressing nice.

Bono – Yes. Bono. Again, I’m not a big fan. But the man can sing and has pushed influential people to ALMOST pay attention to the AIDS crisis in Africa.

Bill Clinton – Oh stop. I don’t want him to get it, but he gets credit for pushing for Israeli-Palestinian peace.

President Obesanjo of Nigeria – I can explain. I’ve noted that he has attended every negotiation of every military-coup in Africa, the past two years. S. Tom? e Principe, Central African Republic.. he was there. Despite killing his own people in the delta, he might get it.

My last one is tie… for their successful end of a horrid civil war, the government of Angola and UNITA. OR The BrazilianMINUSTAH Peace Keeping Force in Haiti. Both longshots.

My winner will be announced this week. The Bicyclemark prize: a pack of dried apple slices, which are always stocked in my cupboard.*

*Winner must come to my place in order to claim prize. And then fight to the death, I love appleslices.

Today’s Sounds: Ron and Fez comedy pyramid on WJFK Washington,DC