Monthly Archives: August 2004

Man Ass or Simulated Sex…You Make the Call

“Just don’t forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.” – Peter Griffin on the Family Guy

I joined Netflix this week and, low-and-behold, my first three movies came in the mail. For me, this is a godsend. Since the birth of my little boy Alexander, Xander for short (unless your Mark then you call him A-Ren), going to the movies is no longer an option. At least now I can see films without having to take a 2 mile drive to Blockbuster with a cellphone to discuss with my wife which movie we want. I digress.

So in the mail I got Once Upon a Time in Mexico, The Whole Ten Yards, and The Cooler. I wrote before that I kind of enjoyed Once upon a Time, but only as a stand alone movie. I feel that it really moved away from El Mariachi and Desperado not only in the writing, but in the acting as well. If anyone here has watched all three, as I have, would you drop a comment. Something really just feels wrong with it and I cannot wrap my brain around it. The Whole Ten Yards was ok. Those that saw the first movie, and you had to have seen The Whole Nine Yards to understand most of the movie, you will probably shrug your shoulders and figure it was wasn’t too bad. Sort of a “blah” feeling going on. The Cooler was the best of the three. William H. Macy, Alec Baldwin, and Maria Bello were amazing in their portrayals. I don’t even want to tell you too much about the movie. The premise is that Macy is a “cooler” in Las Vegas. His luck is so rotten that he is hired to play at tables where people are winning by the casino director, played by Baldwin, to stop their winning streaks. Bello plays a casino waitress that falls in love with Macy. The movie ends weird, but the performances more than make up for it. Great little rental folks.

You may be wondering what any of this was to do with my post title. Here it comes…

I sat down to watch The Cooler with my wife and mother-in-law. A few minutes in we’ve got a cursing tirade that would make a cab driver blush (only if he spoke English). Twenty minutes in we’ve got a very explicit sex scene between Bello and Macy (man ass, sim-sex, hands holding genitalia, watch it you’ll understand) and it wasn’t the last one mind you. I am squirming. So here comes my question. What needs to be in a film or TV show to make you uncomfortable around your parents, your in-laws, other family members, etc.? I can deal with cursing, but the second Macy is being mounted by Bello I’m shifting in my seat. I was amazed we made it through the whole movie. Am I just being weird? Bah….







Today’s Music: Tanya Donelly – Whiskey, Tango, Ghosts (I’ve got a thing for rock chicks)

Air Might Be Conditioned

Dripping… dripping sweat.. what a brilliant idea to make Lisbon bus-stops out of 100% clear glass. You’re waiting for the bus because it provides cooler scenery than the metro, and just via the act of waiting, you sweat profusely. Its hot.. dam hot… Africa hot.. “Tarzan couldn’t take this heat.” Several buses pull up at once, unfortunately most are the 1970 MAN model and rattle and cough as they wait for people to hop on. Like a gift from the heavens, one of the more modern Mercedes manufactured buses pulls up with the beautiful “Ar Condicionado” sign in the window. Get on that bus and the jokes on you.. in this case.. me. Sweating even more than before and forced to inhale the stink of my fellow passengers and the hot air pumping through the alleged air conditioning system. This is when Lisbon is just plain funny. Though at the moment, I had trouble laughing.

Relying mainly on British and French international TV news, I’ve been studying the situation in Darfur, Sudan carefully. Even careful study doesn’t make it any easier to understand. I keep asking myself how I want it handled, nevermind what the international community wants.

Basically I am in favor of intervention by a UN peace keeping force, led by the African Union. If this is not possible, I would accept it being led by France, since they are already present next door, in Chad. This force would act as a shield… an armed human shield with a mandate to do what is necessary to stop mass murder and genocide by either rebels or government forces. By force, I mean actual troops, and not the bombing or cruise missiling of Khartoum, which I would label the “Iraq method.”

Now the trouble with this case, is that both the Sudanese government and people seem dangerously opposed to any outsiders intervening, especially what they call the “west” . It seems possible that they would declare an all out war on any UN force that went in there… which would be terrible for both sides. And so I’m left asking myself once again, how would I handle this situation better? One thing for sure, something must be well thought out and done.

Obviously I’m ready to stop this vacation mode and get back to worrying about the world and Amsterdam life.

Today’s Music: Nina Simone – The Best of (found it in the apartment)

Bile, Fear, and Depp

“Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony”

– Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I work in Newark, New Jersey. Sound familiar? Maybe you saw an article in a newspaper? Yes, lovely Newark was named as one of the location as a possible target for an attack. Hopefully by now you’ve read the fact that’s the information they received was possibly outdated, however, all I can think about is the building they named. The Prudential Building is a very tall structure situated in the middle of Downtown Newark. Yet another little factoid is, the Newark Board of Education is one block over. My office window faces the Prudential Building and I am close enough that on a very overcast day I can almost see in the building.





These facts didn’t strike me right away. I drove right by the building on my way to work, parked my car in the over-priced parking lot, and proceeded to walk towards my building. My entrance into the lobby was heralded with the following greeting, “Please have your employee IDs ready to be checked as you enter the building.” For the last two years, I have only had to show my ID the first day. Since then, I made it a point to greet every security guard in the building. The wise person knows who the people are who truly have control. I found it tedious yet I showed my Driver’s License and promised to bring in my ID tomorrow (which I did). I got into my office and began to go about my day.





My eyes wandered out my window towards the building in question. It’s so very close. I wondered what would happen to me if something did truly occur. I quickly shoved that thought out of my mind and went about my routine. At the end of the long work day, I got into my car and began my commute home. As I approached the building, I found myself getting anxious that the lights were taking too long to change. I tapped my finger impatiently as I waited at the light directly across from the building. I felt fear in the pit of my stomach. Just the fact that I did not know what was to happen next in this colossal structure was enough to make me want to travel just a little faster down this road to get out of the area and safely towards my destination. What was I allowing these threats to do to me? My thoughts then wander to the poor citizens of war torn countries. The fear they must feel on a daily basis. The courage it must take to walk out of there homes and go to work knowing that the chance are good (much better than in my case) that something may happen to them. I felt shame in my cowardice. I’m not quite sure where I am going with this, I just felt I needed to express it somewhere to get it into the open.



Today’s Music: Lamb – Between Darkness and Wonder (I dunno quite how I feel about it)

Today’s Movie: Once Upon a Time in Mexico (Weird choice for Depp. The movie hasn’t settled well with me. I need a second viewing.)


Throw Water on Me

I’ve now arrived in Lisbon, where internet caf?s grow on trees. Hence, more blogging, but not as link heavy as normal, and of course, Big Daddy J is still in charge here.

I attended a baptism today. It might not sound interesting, but for me it’s always a saga. Being a staunch non-theist, I enjoy visiting churches/synagogues/mosques/temples just as I enjoy visiting museums. But I dislike attending services, especially Christian ceremonies since I’ve been over-exposed to them in my life and feel a sort of hostility towards them. I just don’t want to be mistaken for religious, and I hate when the priest asks the crowd to “denounce satan”… I’ve never met this satan guy, and why is this priest in such a hurry for me to write him off. Maybe he’s hip and cool and I can learn from him. I will absolutely not denounce him, unless he spills his drink on me.

My calling at these events, I’ve discovered, is that of “the photographer.” Relatives for the past few years, perhaps knowing of my distaste for ceremonies, hand me a camera every time. Suddenly, those sit down, stand up, kneel, speak, sing rules don’t apply to me. It’s awesome, like getting an all access pass, or being invisible. I think at one point today I was standing right next to the priest guy point my lense at him, and there ain’t nuthin he can do cause I was designated “camera person” by the mother of the baby. Finally, I understand my role within religion, I’m there to make camera sounds and ignore the rules.

Tonight was my arrival in Lisbon. This place continues to be magical for me. For a second, I forget all about my girlfriend Amsterdam. My old love affair for dark, narrow streets, and dog poo covered cobblestones returns. It has this wonderful feeling of ancient-ness mixed with modern-ness, and it’s just the quintessential “hip european city.” So, time to soak up my week of Lisbon… on the list of things to do:

-Watch TV

-Sit on the roof and watch the river

-See whats new in Day and Night life

-Comb the Feira de Ladra

-Check out 1 museum

-Wander FNAC

-Visit with my boys.(and girls)

Today’s Music: Bill Frisell – Intercontinentals (could listen 24-7)