Bile, Fear, and Depp

“Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony”

– Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I work in Newark, New Jersey. Sound familiar? Maybe you saw an article in a newspaper? Yes, lovely Newark was named as one of the location as a possible target for an attack. Hopefully by now you’ve read the fact that’s the information they received was possibly outdated, however, all I can think about is the building they named. The Prudential Building is a very tall structure situated in the middle of Downtown Newark. Yet another little factoid is, the Newark Board of Education is one block over. My office window faces the Prudential Building and I am close enough that on a very overcast day I can almost see in the building.

These facts didn’t strike me right away. I drove right by the building on my way to work, parked my car in the over-priced parking lot, and proceeded to walk towards my building. My entrance into the lobby was heralded with the following greeting, “Please have your employee IDs ready to be checked as you enter the building.” For the last two years, I have only had to show my ID the first day. Since then, I made it a point to greet every security guard in the building. The wise person knows who the people are who truly have control. I found it tedious yet I showed my Driver’s License and promised to bring in my ID tomorrow (which I did). I got into my office and began to go about my day.

My eyes wandered out my window towards the building in question. It’s so very close. I wondered what would happen to me if something did truly occur. I quickly shoved that thought out of my mind and went about my routine. At the end of the long work day, I got into my car and began my commute home. As I approached the building, I found myself getting anxious that the lights were taking too long to change. I tapped my finger impatiently as I waited at the light directly across from the building. I felt fear in the pit of my stomach. Just the fact that I did not know what was to happen next in this colossal structure was enough to make me want to travel just a little faster down this road to get out of the area and safely towards my destination. What was I allowing these threats to do to me? My thoughts then wander to the poor citizens of war torn countries. The fear they must feel on a daily basis. The courage it must take to walk out of there homes and go to work knowing that the chance are good (much better than in my case) that something may happen to them. I felt shame in my cowardice. I’m not quite sure where I am going with this, I just felt I needed to express it somewhere to get it into the open.

Today’s Music: Lamb – Between Darkness and Wonder (I dunno quite how I feel about it)

Today’s Movie: Once Upon a Time in Mexico (Weird choice for Depp. The movie hasn’t settled well with me. I need a second viewing.)