Man Ass or Simulated Sex…You Make the Call

“Just don’t forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.” – Peter Griffin on the Family Guy

I joined Netflix this week and, low-and-behold, my first three movies came in the mail. For me, this is a godsend. Since the birth of my little boy Alexander, Xander for short (unless your Mark then you call him A-Ren), going to the movies is no longer an option. At least now I can see films without having to take a 2 mile drive to Blockbuster with a cellphone to discuss with my wife which movie we want. I digress.

So in the mail I got Once Upon a Time in Mexico, The Whole Ten Yards, and The Cooler. I wrote before that I kind of enjoyed Once upon a Time, but only as a stand alone movie. I feel that it really moved away from El Mariachi and Desperado not only in the writing, but in the acting as well. If anyone here has watched all three, as I have, would you drop a comment. Something really just feels wrong with it and I cannot wrap my brain around it. The Whole Ten Yards was ok. Those that saw the first movie, and you had to have seen The Whole Nine Yards to understand most of the movie, you will probably shrug your shoulders and figure it was wasn’t too bad. Sort of a “blah” feeling going on. The Cooler was the best of the three. William H. Macy, Alec Baldwin, and Maria Bello were amazing in their portrayals. I don’t even want to tell you too much about the movie. The premise is that Macy is a “cooler” in Las Vegas. His luck is so rotten that he is hired to play at tables where people are winning by the casino director, played by Baldwin, to stop their winning streaks. Bello plays a casino waitress that falls in love with Macy. The movie ends weird, but the performances more than make up for it. Great little rental folks.

You may be wondering what any of this was to do with my post title. Here it comes…

I sat down to watch The Cooler with my wife and mother-in-law. A few minutes in we’ve got a cursing tirade that would make a cab driver blush (only if he spoke English). Twenty minutes in we’ve got a very explicit sex scene between Bello and Macy (man ass, sim-sex, hands holding genitalia, watch it you’ll understand) and it wasn’t the last one mind you. I am squirming. So here comes my question. What needs to be in a film or TV show to make you uncomfortable around your parents, your in-laws, other family members, etc.? I can deal with cursing, but the second Macy is being mounted by Bello I’m shifting in my seat. I was amazed we made it through the whole movie. Am I just being weird? Bah….

Today’s Music: Tanya Donelly – Whiskey, Tango, Ghosts (I’ve got a thing for rock chicks)