Audio – Page 138 – Citizen Reporter

Night Owls

Often when you least expect it, one of those crazy Amsterdam nights sneaks up on you. They take many different forms and shapes, they can be brief, or go on until the break-a-break-a dawn. It can be a group of friends, or a crowd of strangers, or just you… there is no real formula, just as there is no real warning. They just sneak up on you, only to be realized when you fully wake the next day.

I thought last night would be a quiet evening at home, but instead the world reknown Anne somehow got me involved in a French flick with Pedro Abrunhosa, Absenthe, and remembering California. It turns out Absenthe was only legalized recently, so now we can all see purple dinosaurs on Saturday nights. Anne says there are no purple dinosaurs unless I go to intertoys, which I will.

So the peace prize will be awarded on Friday, and way back in 2002 I predicted Carter would get it. In 2003 I was under the influence of thesis, so I made no prediction. But this year I want to re-assert my authority in the blogosphere, on the net, and around the world as a Nobel-predicting-type-guy. My top five candidates are as follows along with my rationale:

Hamid Karzai – I know he’s a bastard and a puppet deep down, but I still think they’ll give him credit for not getting assassinated and dressing nice.

Bono – Yes. Bono. Again, I’m not a big fan. But the man can sing and has pushed influential people to ALMOST pay attention to the AIDS crisis in Africa.

Bill Clinton – Oh stop. I don’t want him to get it, but he gets credit for pushing for Israeli-Palestinian peace.

President Obesanjo of Nigeria – I can explain. I’ve noted that he has attended every negotiation of every military-coup in Africa, the past two years. S. Tom? e Principe, Central African Republic.. he was there. Despite killing his own people in the delta, he might get it.

My last one is tie… for their successful end of a horrid civil war, the government of Angola and UNITA. OR The BrazilianMINUSTAH Peace Keeping Force in Haiti. Both longshots.

My winner will be announced this week. The Bicyclemark prize: a pack of dried apple slices, which are always stocked in my cupboard.*

*Winner must come to my place in order to claim prize. And then fight to the death, I love appleslices.

Today’s Sounds: Ron and Fez comedy pyramid on WJFK Washington,DC

My Guy

Lately it’s around 3am that the Jogging King and I meet for our kitchen meetings. We’re like the white house staff, making sandwiches and discussing strategy in our pajamas. The king has been offered one kick-ass job in Oslo, Norway.. city of cross-country skiing to work, and not far from one Jill/txt. His majesty has always wanted to work there, and more importantly has been itching for a change in his life, like so many. Trouble is now that he’s getting what he wanted, he’s worried about making the wrong decision. During the discussion he referred to me and said “You knew you wanted to come live in the Netherlands, that’s why you came.” I had to stop the king right there, cause he was committing royal blasphemy: I did not intend to stay here when I first arrived.

Rewind to October 2002, when the blog was just a tadpole, I was focused on my masters degree and not much more. I was not even learning Dutch yet, and I can tell you that at that time I thought I would get a masters and hop over to another country for a cool job. It was only during the course of my first year that I started to see my love for the ‘dam, and that I fit in like Castro at a military surplus store.

I just wanted to clear that up… very little of my present life was planned. So Jogging King… I hope you stop thinking so much and embrace the Nordic madness. I’ll water your plants.

You know who my European leader of the year is: Jos? Luis Gonzalez Zapatero. Maybe because my father’s side of the family were shoemakers, or because he beat the pants of Aznar, whatever the reason, I’m becoming a great admirer. This week he’s been pushing to recognize gay marriage, good man! Why do we always have to think of Spain as conservative or old-fashioned, have you been to Spain lately? – Those dogs are progressive with a medium sized P. Sure they might say they’re 80% catholic, but 50% or so say they don’t actually practice a dam thing, cept maybe football. But I digress, the Prime Minister is also increasing spending on social programs and R&D, in a time where everyone else is obsessed with cutting everything. Plus, he’s a feminist. So keep it up Se?or Zapatero, you’re a breath of fresh air on the old continent, no matter what the rabid Barcepundit says.

And yes, there’s only one week until the announcement, so I’ll be running down my own list and predicting the next winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.

Today’s Sounds: Calexico – Feast of Wire

Puppet Theatre

Lets get this debate shit out of the way, because I thought I wouldn’t talk about it, but in the end, I’ve listened to hours of analysis of it in three languages today. I skipped out of party stop #2 last night, cutting the Thursday night tour off early to prepare for the presidential pageant which I hoped would begin at 1h00 (CET) my time. It did not. So I put on my night cap and drank a night cap.. and waited. Worse than waiting, I waited and watched CNN International like Pavlov’s dog waiting for a bell to ring. The bell rang at 3am… I didn’t hear it. Subconsciously in between whatever dream I was having about flying, midgets, sex… all at the same time, I do believe the debate crept into my ears. Thus I believe I am now dumber. Both rich white old men said nothing, and each pretended to be the friend of the “people.” Is that what citizens elect, a friend? At any rate, if I were to compliment either bum, I would say Kerry’s empty rhetoric was better than Bush’s whining rhetoric.

But let me give you a deeper analysis:

Most mumbling: Prince Bush

Most statements beginning with “Well Jim”: Emperor Kerry

Most name dropping: K-dog

Most childish: B-boy

Weirdest Statement: Johny K ‘s “The Pottery Barn Rule- You break it you bought it”

Best Hair: JFK

Best Statement about any place in the world other than Iraq, Afghanistan or Sudan: none. There ARE NO other countries with trouble.

Most Shots of Water: GWB

Most “You can’t do that” type statements: Bushy

Most repetitive: Bushle about flip-floppin

stupidest Statement: W teaching us what he thinks the ICC is.

Overall winner: Jim Lehrer and PBS, this should help the next telethon.

But again.. I must remind myself… nothing was said during that pageant.

Some blog moments this passed week:

– The Torontonienne has been picking my brain about blogging and identity, I suspect she’ll be blogging by mid-October, a lovely month to start as Tony Pierce can attest.

– Kirstin Dunst’s twin chatted me up in the fishtank at work, she’s a livejournalist and was fascinated by my 116 feeds in bloglines.

– Blueberry girl, who enjoys blogs and my love for the art, is off to work for the International Monetary Savings-n-loan in Paris.

– Crazy Dr. M found my desire to get onto certain academic blogrolls. my wish to get in with the in-crowd, interesting.

– The State I’m In has mastered RSS feed, and now he’ll start living in his office.

– Despite my increase in visitors, I still only have 4 subscriptions to my feed on bloglines. Which means many out there are totally missing out on the RSS revolution!

I would love to go to this conference in Galicia and discuss Iberian-American digital journalism. First I’ll have to look through the couch cushions for loose euros.

ps- The upcoming American elections already don’t meet international standards. Just a friendly reminder.

Today’s Sounds: My Hero Robert Fisk Talking on Democracy Now

Stratoversary

Happy Birthday to you…. Happy Birthday to you… Happy BIIIIIrthday dear Fender Stratocaster…

Yes.. the strat is turning 50 years young, and I’m listening to the BBC Worldservice special on the magical guitar. Though you won’t catch me playing one, my appreciation of them is great. And I’ll tell you something I learned today – When Hendrix played the Starred Spangled Banner, he was doing it as a protest to the Vietnam War, simulating the sounds of machine guns, sirens and people screaming. I had no idea! I mean.. I used to listen to the song and just figured he liked distortion. Did everybody else know this? I guess I’m too young. Is there any other distortion with a message? Lemme re-listen to every Rage album real quick.

BlondeButBright is near Helsinki…. HELSINKI. So lucky. She’s blogging about Finnish culture and coathooks in toilet stalls. Sounds like a little piece of heaven up there.

The debates… I need not talk about them because you can go to every other blog for that. But I will say this much: 3 debates?! That’s it? One of the most influential countries in the world and allegedly a very tight race… and all you get are three debates? Pathetic. I think from September until elections they should debate at least once if not twice a week. And unlike the upcoming debates, they should actually be able to ask each other questions and… *gasp* move from the podium.

But there’s another election about to take place that warrants talking about – The Elections Down Under. Yes it’s Howard and the Coalition versus Latham and Labour. Sounds more like a battle of the bands, really. But the situation, from my comfy Amsterdam seat, appears to very similar to that of the UK and – dare I say it – the US. Meaning an incumbent leader who plays on the whole terrorism fear and doesn’t have much of an opposition running against him. Of course, I guess I’d vote for Mark Latham… but mostly because I like his first name and I don’t dig John Howard. But certainly this is not a qualified Aussi opinion, for that I recommend Antony’s Counterspin – an Australian election blog. But the real fun is at John Howard’s mock-blog… where he says things like:

“So I finally called the election today. Man, Democracy is such a hassle, it’d be so much easier if I could just be PM for ever and ever.”

Today’s Music: The Eagles – Hotel California (He plays a Fender!)

Segway

I believe it was an early summer afternoon, and me being the part-time king, I had just finished up a cool slice of watermelon and the usual soup & a sandwich university canteen lunch. As I went down the conveyor belt of garbage separation, plate cleaning, and tray return, I was just glancing back into the kitchen to see if I could spot the Portuguese guy and say “ent?o p?… tudo bem,” but sure enough he wasn’t there. At that very moment, like a sign from the heavens, my spider-sense started tingling and over my shoulder I sensed something magical.

Rushing to throw his dishware into the machine, he seemed to move like a movie star not wanting to get caught by the paparazzi. But it was too late.. I had made eye contact. Once I realized it wasn’t a vacuum cleaner, I knew I was face to face with my first ever – live – SEGWAY.

Of course I’m slow, so by the time it hit me, the segway owner guy was already outside. I ran after him like a nut, pushing clueless Dutch students to the side. “HEY!” I shouted towards him. He half looked at me, as though he was thinking- oh no, another fanatic. I didn’t wait for a response.. shouting “HEY… That’s a…. A SEGWAY.” And all at once he unfolded it, winked at me, and said with a smug tone – “yes it is.” And BAM – in one swift move he was gone.. leaving behind the echoes of kinetic energy, or whatever that thing runs on. I stood there.. turned to anyone around me who would listen and kept repeating, “Did you see it.. that was a segway?” Few cared. One girl took pity on me and asked what a segway was… but I was too “in it” to respond.

That was it, my brush with greatness. Ever since that day nothing has been the same. I love my bike, but I long for a segway. Maybe I should take a segway tour.

Keeping with the tech theme today, I’d like to talk about a man and a company I’m not sure I like. Richard Branson… yes.. the Virgin. No, it’s not his planes, trains, disappearing megastores, or balloon rides that I’m upset with. Rather it’s his new plan: Virgin Galactic that I find asinine and wasteful. Somebody help me feel better about a billionaire starting a space tourism company that invests big money to send other billionaires into space for 5 minutes. The rocketman even waxes lyrical about one day putting a resort on the moon.

My problem with all this fun and alleged futuristic initiative? I consider it a complete waste of resources. Instead of spending money… private or public.. on advancing space research, this guy chooses to give some rich types another fancy thrill. He could create his own Mars Lander.. or fly the first private shuttle to the moon. But no no… crazy eccentric Swiss millionaires have to experience weightlessness first. I wish there were some international agreement that prevented this type of business move. Heavy handed? For Richard Branson.. I sure am.

Today’s Music: Jobim/Morelenbaum – Casa

Sweeeeedish

Normally a Sunday morning wake-up call is not something to look forward to. But this past weekend I was most pleased with the digital voice of one Mart in Sweden.

Mart loves the man in black, and taught me to appreciate Live at Folsom Prison. He also loves his Swedish girlfriend… and I think she’s great too. Way back before the move to Sweden, I remember the boys being impressed because she collects comic books. Everyone take notes, if you’re doing a sociological study of the male psyche… female comic book collecting is hot. Apparently… I mean.. I’m just the observer.. the Margaret Mead with a penis, if you will. (that should get me more search hits, everyone looking for a hermaphrodite anthropologist)Anyway, he was and is one of my closest friends on this sometimes green earth, and the conversation got the memory banks working overtime. Again I’ll go look at how much flights to Stockholm are. Seems to me there’s a forest in the middle of that city.

As I was telling the torontonienne last night over ye ol MSN, I’ve been listening to blogosphere radio from Edmonton. YES.. blogradio. Boring you say? Nerdly you say? Perhaps. But hey, I like listening to the latest news about the blogosphere and blog software. And they also interview other bloggers, which is fun. Consider it the Johnny Carson of blogging. Don’t know Johnny? OK then.. the Conan O’Brien? Still nothing… maybe more like the Oprah.

Discussing United Nations Reform via email (yes we have these discussions) JAck and I agree on a certain standard, an international law “Killing people is bad.” I think from this starting point we can make a better world. As far as the Security Council is concerned, I say banish the current permanent seats and veto powers, create a permanent seat for each continent, and require a consensus to pass resolutions. That way the world will be more culturally and geographically represented, and resolutions may actually be respected by each country involved. That’s just one of my reform ideas, which is pretty simple but all you get before 10am. If you’d like to get involved in the email discussion, it can be arranged.

Today’s Music: G. Love – The Hustle (still loving it)