A Peruvian Trap

You know how it goes when you’re a world citizen blogger. One day you’re talking about Poland, then Frisbee in Amsterdam, and before you know it, it’s time to talk Turkey. Or as we say in Portuguese “Peru” .

Not sure how much you know or the world’s media tells you, about Peruvian history and politics, but myself – I’ve been watching the events unfold for the last 6 years with great frustration. Let me catch you up:

From 1990 to 2000 there was a most terrible president by the name of Alberto Fujimori. A tyrant and dictator who used all kinds of violence and secret tactics to maintain power and oppress oppositional groups. But fortunately in 2000 his ass got chased out of Peru and back to Japan (where he is also a citizen). The country slowly started a process of investigating the crimes of the Fujimori administration, eventually arresting one of the major murderous assholes- Vladimiro Montesinos, who was the head of the secret police during that time, and was also very talented at profiting from drug smuggling. Unfortunately they still haven’t gotten their hands on Fujimori, because Japan refuses to hand him over.

So now there are elections coming up, and Fujimori – even while hiding in Japan – says he will run for president again. And having heard about this, I have a plan for Peru:

Being that it is necessary to deal with the past in order to face the future. And being that Alberto is responsible for a whole lot of human rights violations during his time as el presidente, I say he must be captured – in a clever way. Therefore – I say tell him he is running for president. Tell the whole country to “make pretend” .. and then pretend he wins.. and when he arrives at the airport with that smug “I killed lots of you the first time and youre stupid enough to elect me again” look on his face, ARREST HIM! YAY! Then comes the trial and people can throw tomatos and poof.. national reconciliation mixed with justice and even a bit of fun!