Need to Step Out

I’m feeling that cabin fever. While the ‘dam is a wonderful place, and I still walk down the canals everyday loving the sounds and smells – I haven’t left town in ages. Beyond that I’m in a mental rut, and I just thought I’d share that with you instead of trying to hide behind some political rant. I’ve got plenty of political rants, of course, but there’s definitely something deeper that isn’t sitting right for me.

Maybe it was the fact that yesterday was my brother, bigdaddyj’s, birthday. Being across the ocean from him, it definitely gets to me that time is passing and my life is elsewhere.

But maybe it’s more than that. – You know how priests say they have a calling? Like whatever higher being called them to do this bizarre task involving a white collar and serving red wine to the masses. I have one of these feelings as well. NOOOO, not to serve a god, but to do SOMETHING GREAT… but which I still can’t identify. You follow me? I feel like im equipped mentally and emotionally to do some very important things, but I can’t see what they are yet. Or if I can identify them – for example: to be a independent podcast journalist in the tradition of Seymour Hersh, Robert Fisk, and the legendaryJack Newfield. Even if I know that’s what I wish to do, the path hasn’t materialized – and it’s frustrating, to say the least.

For the time being I soak up the wisdom, from you the readers, from blogger-podcast friends like the mindcaster, who offerred me the reminder this sunny afternoon at Nieuwmarkt, to take a few risks, make a few demands, and not be so easy going in relation to things going on around me. I’m thinking thats true professionally as well as personally. Thanks bro.