Years from now, when my bike tires are a bit more run down, my beard is grey, and personal hairline security loses the battle, my nephew will ask lots of questions. So travel with me now, into the future, to the year 2020, and a conversation between teenaged A-Ren and I.
“Did you really put my photo all over your blog uncle bm? Why did you do that?”
Yes I did A-Ren, I had so many of your amazing photos that grandma sent me, and I was so far away in the Amsterdam, that I felt the need to put you all over my blog. I also figured when you got older, blogs would be this ancient idea, like NEW COKE, and you’d look back and laugh, like I do when I see my own “babybook” that grandma keeps in a closet.
“Why did you live so far away uncle bm? I mean… if you really liked me…”
A-Ren my boy, before the ocean levels rose and swallowed it up, Amsterdam was a wonderful place to live. With a quality of life that was so high… I mean.. good. The children there seemed so happy riding their bikes to school. And even the adults seemed content with their tiny lives that they could pack into a tiny apartment when they weren’t in their modest offices. I started living there before you were born, and I loved it, you see my heart needed to be there. And so I stayed, even though I missed you alot, and of course, I came to visit you in NJ all the time!
“Didn’t you miss your mommy and daddy? And my daddy?”
Oh yes, you can be sure I did. I wished very much that they could visit me all the time, the same way you would come to grandma and grandpa’s house on sundays. I missed grandpa and grandma alot and I hoped they didn’t mind too much that I wanted to live in such a far away country. I especially missed your daddy. We used to go bowling together, and we’d play those old time playstation 2 games, remember those from the museum?
At the same time, thanks to Al Gore and George W. Bush, we had the internets, so even though I was accross the ocean, we spoke everyday and shared lots of photos, especially yours. I remember asking your dad about every little detail about you, how you eat, what sounds you make, etc. So even though we were far, we were still close.
“Uncle BM, what ever happened to your blog?”
My blog? Well, after using it to secure world peace, I really wanted a vacation. But then suddenly your dad asked if I wanted to move here, to mars, with you guys. And I thought, “hmm.. a far away planet.. with my nephew A-Ren.. this is gonna be fun!” So I came here and we were so busy growing organic martian food, that I stopped blogging for a while. But now that we’ve got terrestrial internet going, I’m definitely restarting the blog. I can’t wait to read what the Midnight Mailman is delivering. Or to hear about how Bitch PHD is holding up in her old age. I really want to see who wins the 16th annual Anna’s this year!
Oh look at me going on and on about the golden age of weblogs. Pay no attention, you run along now and play with the martian prairie dogs, I’m going to see if our new neighbor Brian needs a hand with his solar panels.
Today’s Sounds: Whole Wheat Radio live from Alaska