Bicyclemark Launches Fatwah Against Temp Agencies

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That’s right. Read the title. Circumstances in my own life and all over the world have left me with little choice. Bicyclemark hereby declares a personal nonviolentFatwah against Temp Agencies around the world.

They started it. With their shitty benefits, fake smiles, and insulting -nee – degrading salaries. With their staff of young good looking hipsters and promises of pie-in-the-sky, temporary employment agencies are destroying quality of life worldwide, with a smile and a cool soundtrack in the background. And the blame doesn’t merely lie with them. Mais non! They have accomplices: businesses, organizations, institutions that contract them! use their slave labor as a shortcut in the realm of paperwork and that pesky process of “hiring workers.” And the culprit list continues; the governments – who should have outlawed these evil entities from the get-go.

And so it has come to this. My Fatwah. Hear me, Temp Agencies everywhere, take note — I AM YOUR ENEMY. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I will nonviolently and perhaps passively work to make you miserable. How, you might ask? I’ve got some ideas. Smear campaign on my blog, for starters. Incriminating photos of your employees and directors sitting at their hip I-Macs while electronically stealing money from the average ex-student. Bags of dog poo, perhaps sometimes burning, left at your door. Or maybe I should recruit young punk-rockers to borrow a page from the fur movement and throw red paint on your post-modern glass facade. Another idea running around in my head is to hire homeless people to sit outside your doors with signs reading “former temp” and “temp agencies hurt baby jesus”. Oh yes.. lemme write that one down somewhere besides this blog.

In closing, you’re in big trouble you son of a bitch temp agencies. Whether you’re in Europe, North America or the friggin Galapogos Islands, my wrath knoweth no hemispheric limits.

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