The latrines and the cooking facilities at the bicyclemark ranch are all cleaned. I mention that cause I’m damn good at it… my mom taught me well… which leads me to tonight’s topic: mothers.
For some she’s no longer around, for others she lives in the next town/room, and for many – including myself, she lives across the ocean. And as you may have experienced in your own life, this can be rough.
Of course you miss the moma. Especially if she makes you feel like the most important thing in the universe! But what’s a bigger issue is the influence and emotion of the mother who’s child is far away. You try and raise your child to be strong, independent, and determined to do all they can in this life. But you hope when while they do that they still come home occasionally, pick up a phone, or be located in a strategically good spot for the occasional hug and snuggle.
So here I sit, 4 years after having gone beyond leaving the nest, leaving the whole damn continent. And maybe normally that’s not bad, since the moma has part of her life on this continent, but I went and chose a completely different and unfamiliar corner of this contintent to live on. While she normally cheers me on, you can bet there are frequent, and sometimes loud statements of “I wish you would come live near me.” And it can often hit your weakspot, cause who knows how to push your buttons better then mom… telling you stories of the cutest and funnest nephew of all time, and you can feel the exciting energy that an almost 1-year old can bring an aging family.
These are the moments where my Amsterdam bubble is popped, not for good, but for the remainder of that day or night. The love for riding your bike through the holland snow or cruising the chilly canals on a boat is replaced by mixture of guilt, worry, wonder, resolve and frustration flowing through your veins. All those notorious words come around… regret, roots, future…. family.
Then I wake up to the BBCworldservice, smile at the semi-grey sky, and its time for soymilk, branflakes, and banana… right about then I remember I love the moma and all the familia… and the rest I’ll figure out later.
note: my mom does indeed read the blog! beijinho m?ezinha.
Today’s Sounds: My Fair Lady – Soundtrack from the Musical