The communiqu? presents: a slightly edited version of an interview with my buddy JP who resides in Lisbon, Portugal, and can out curse a sailor when he wants to.
bicyclemark: Well… first off, welcome to the blog JP…
bicyclemark: So JP… do you recall around the time where you and I became pals… tell the tale for the audience at home….
J.P. : you were starting to work in that piece of shit school, it was around February 2002?
bicyclemark: True true.
J.P. : and, I don’t recall the exact circumstances
bicyclemark: Was it my keen vocabulary and style of clothes that led you to become my friend?
J.P. : that, and your politics, and your naivet?, and you having had dealings with the Cosa Nostra.
bicyclemark: I see. And you live in Lisbon.. a city that will forever own my heart… where people barely find the time, between eating, smoking and coffee, to go to work. Could you sum up, in four words… what its like living there?
J.P. : being buggered by apes covered in shit
bicyclemark: nice While we’re on shit covered apes… any words about the prime minister of portugal who just resigned?
J.P. : no words strong enough were invented for that piece of sewage in walking form
bicyclemark: I see… just one more in this subject area… any predictions for the future of portugal?
J.P. : when you flush the toilet you see and hear the future of Portugal.
bicyclemark: Excellent political analysis. Very late-modern.
bicyclemark: Moving on… I have a few Chinese readers.. and I recall your stories of when you traveled china…. when was that again? and why did you go?
J.P. : vacation, August 1996; Macao, Hong Kong, and Beijing
bicyclemark: I see, and there you traveled by train… what was it again? for how long? And what can you say about the experience?
J.P. : 3 days and nights from Beijing to Canton. It was a unique experience. I felt like a black person must feel in, say, Alentejo (who doesn’t know the language)
(editors note: Alentejo- vast rural area to the south of portugal. where portuguese hicks come from)
(J.P. : note again – many people of African descent travel through Alentejo, but mostly they speak Portuguese)
bicyclemark: I was expecting you to tell me to go to hell and defend your home territory.
J.P. : well, no – there are hicks in Alentejo, but most assfucking male-raping hillbillies that I know of live in Lisbon
bicyclemark: ouch. So back to politics, how bad did this last american election hit you?
J.P. : fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
bicyclemark: I see, so we could say.. not well.
bicyclemark: Hey before we go on… thanks for the Transmetropolitan graphic novels…very thoughtful of you on my bday
J.P. : Spider Jerusalem – a man with political ideas after my own heart
bicyclemark: I think he eats speed for breakfast and shoots people when it pleases him.
J.P. : and throws them turds and dog carcasses; his weapon of choice is lovely: the Bowel Disruptor
bicyclemark: sounds cruel.
bicyclemark: Well mr JP. Time to say thank you.. and well.. end this. Thanks for being on the show.
J.P. : I hope I was as helpful as you thought I might be
Today’s Sounds: Paul Simon – Graceland (now digging through landlord’s CD’s)